I Am

I am...

I am a roller coaster of emotions right now...
I don't know why...
I am feeling a plarethra of feelings
And I fail to comprehend...

I can blame it on the weather... 
But it's the season I love...
I can blame it on my past...
But there are really no bad things there...
I can blame it on my parents...
But I do care for them so...

So what is tugging at my heart???
What is pulling my mind in a thousand dirrections??? 

As soon as I think I have something...
A thought process I can follow...
An emotion which is real...
A feeling that seems substantial... 
It drifts away...
It leaves me...

I try and think of beauty...
I try and truly see...
But it all is so fleeting... 

A word keeps appearing...
But it's an undecernable one...
As if staring at a fuzzy immage...

What is it???
A name???
An explination???
A meaningless word???

And just like that...
It dissapears...
Only to let me wander in the maze that is my brain...

Is it love??? 
Is it hurt???
Is it anger???
Is it passion???
Is it lies???
Is it truth???

As I continue to find my way...
To follow the nothingness...
To listen to emptiness...
To view the silence...
I leave you with this single question...
What is beauty???

-Marcos Cisneros